I think I figured it out. Finally. I knew something was weird. I kept getting really nice emails and chat messages in dating websites from very good-looking men. In fact, they were almost too good-looking. Some of them even said they were in the military and said things like “has it been your dream of finding a man in uniform to spend the rest of your life with?” Well actually, that wasn’t such a cool thing for me since my dad was a career Air Force man and I grew up around military bases. It’s what I was used to. So dreaming about it? No. Dating a man in uniform? Fine. The weird thing is their profile says they are in the states and then they say they are in Afghanistan or Iraq when chatting with talking to me. The first time this happened to me I didn’t realize what was going on. The guy was making plans really quickly and wanted to come see me, which I thought was odd. He wanted to get to know me. It just so happened, it was during the summer and I had my tornado warning going off. I said I would have to go to the basement and his answer was “how far do you have to go to get there?” Ok, I knew something was fishy then since he didn’t know what a basement was or realize it was part of my house. So I started asking more questions. By this time he had already asked me early into the conversation to go from the main website he found me on to yahoo instant messenger. I didn’t realize then, but asking me to go to yahoo IM should have been my first clue to get rid of him. Anyone who asks that is a scam artist!!!! So then I began to ask this person, who wanted to spend the rest of his life with me, other questions and he couldn’t answer them about military life. They were simple questions. At this point he got mad at me for not trusting him. Since that time I have met lots of “men” (one never knows if they are male) who want me to go to yahoo IM and that is my clue to hit disconnect and report them as scammers. Last night I finally found out why they want unsuspecting “dates” to do this. Yahoo IM provides them a way to get into our computers and copy anything they want. Our passwords, anything. DO NOT DO IT. In fact, I just took yahoo IM off my computer this morning to prevent anyone from getting into my computer. So here is what I do when I start chatting with someone. As I said, if they even mention moving to yahoo IM, I report them. Then early on I ask them to call my cell. Only an unmarried man who lives in the states will actually make this call. I don’t even bother chatting with someone who I have no interest in. So if they smoke, I don’t even chat with them. If they want babies, no way! Beyond that, I want to make sure they are real. I have never had trouble with this method. If they are in another country they will not call. If they are married they will not call. So then I know two things are OK and I can go from there. After talking to them I check them out to see if they have lied about their age and other things. It is amazing what you can find out on the Internet. There is lots of information online about the romance scams.
I am new to online dating. Actually, I suggested that my host daughter put an ad on Match.Com and in preparation for her ad I thought I would do some research. Next thing I knew I was writing my own profile. Of course it was to help her. But since I am a researcher, I looked carefully at what middle-aged men were asking for while I was on the site. It seems difficult for me to not make dating even a research project. I found that there are a few categories of men. First off, and there are the lonely men. These men have been dumped by their wives and they don’t know what to do with themselves. They say they wander aimlessly around their house and want a woman to cook and clean for them. For some reason, my first thought would be, “why don’t they hire a maid?” rather than make another woman miserable, but maybe I am missing something. Maybe someone wants to fill the previous wife’s shoes. Just not me. I am located in the middle of Nebraska. So the second group loves football. Every man in who had a profile up in this are mentioned how much they love sports. By the way they write about it they must spend their entire weekends either at the football stadium or glued to the TV set. For a woman like me, who doesn’t like football, who was really happy when her sons quit playing in high school so I didn’t have to go to any more games, and who would rather be shopping, what am I to do with all these men to pick from who me to love football with them? I will tell you in my next blog.
While I have been researching sex on the internet and sexting before the term became popular, this will be my very first blog on the subject. Actually it is my very first blog at all. The word sexting is when people send pictures of themselves and their body parts via the computer and/or their cell phone or they text the sexual words to another person telling that person what they want to do to them or have done to themselves of a sexual nature. It is phone sex gone high tech. The difference is that once a person hits send, it is sent is written in stone for the person who receives it to do whatever they want with the information. They can either keep it safe; and use it for their own pleasure and for only them to enjoy or they can share it with friends, the media and even the world. We know that this is what gets people in trouble. After an article of mine on sexting and infidelity in cyberspace hit the media this summer, journalists coined the term Weinergate, to refer to Rep. Anthony Weiner whose private parts were found to have been floating around on Facebook and had been inappropriately sent to other women while married. Since this story broke, Weiner has lost his job, almost lost his marriage, and most certainly his reputation. Did he leave the internet and actually meet those women? He and those women are the only ones who really know that for sure. My research has found that if individuals find someone they like online they typically are going to meet them face-to-face. Then there are those who keep getting caught because they are sending minors pictures of themselves and their naked private parts. Just this week, a California assistant football coach who last summer sent a young girl text messages with nude photographs and a video of himself masturbating was sentenced to prison, while a 20 year old Houston man was caught sending his favorite pictures of his private parts to a young girl he met in church of all places. We know that when politicians do this it can ruin their careers and it is stupid, and that adults who send pictures to children it is against the law. However, what about when children send pictures of themselves to other kids? Is that just a childhood prank? Is it kind of like when my generation mooned our friends by sticking our naked butts out of car windows? We didn’t think twice about it. Well, kids think it is similar, but the laws haven’t caught up. For instance, the problems happen when a 15 year old decides to send a picture of her 34 DDD breasts to her boyfriend on her cell phone. She thinks it is just going to him. However, he sends it to his friend, who keeps on sending it on. Before anyone knows it, the picture is all way through the junior high and the high school, she and her boyfriend have been suspended from school. She is horrified. Her parents are very upset. Worse than that they can be arrested and have to register as a sex offender. It is always best to think twice before hitting send.